The legendary late great pitcher Satchel Paige is credited with asking, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
In your own mind, what age are you? Be honest.
If you’re like me, your answer depends on the time of day and how you’re feeling at that particular moment!
Our traditional idea of aging is a linear progression from childhood to old age. We pass through each age and stage – childhood, youth, young adulthood, middle age, old age – dealing with our circumstances in sequence. Each stage has its own unique challenges, struggles, and opportunities. But once a stage is complete, it’s done. No matter how much we might have enjoyed it or want to have another go at doing it better, we must move on.
Such thinking believes there’s an accepted order and set expectations. We don’t question them. Traditional thinking says “People are expected to act their age.” But what does that mean?
Many people make assumptions about aging, what it’s like to grow old, and how old age will affect them. However, with longer life spans and more people living to old age, perhaps the assumptions we have had about what aging means is all wrong. To quote Mark Twain, “Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
Recently, 90-year-old William Shatner — Hollywood’s Captain Kirk on Star Trek — became the oldest man to travel to space. He was aboard a ship built by Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin company.
Following being blasted into space, Shatner proclaimed, “What you have given me is the most profound experience I can imagine.” He further added, “I hope I never recover from this. I hope that I can maintain what I feel now. I don’t want to lose it.”
How old we are shouldn’t determine who we are. Chronological age, the actual number of years of life, is just that — a set of numbers. This is particularly true in a world where we are living longer, healthier lives.
In the Bible, only a very small portion of Israelites lived to old age. The average life expectancy in ancient Israel was probably no greater than mid-20s and an individual in his or her mid-30s was considered an old person. Imagine thinking a mid-30’s person as an old person in our world today. (Okay, I know. Some people think being 30 is over the hill.)
Our aging population means that we have greater opportunities to maximize our potential to grow spiritually, serve God and the needs of others, be happy, and be productive. To achieve this, we must think of people as individuals rather than defining them by their age. Each person is unique and people age differently.
Many of us know at least one person who doesn’t conform to the set expectations of their physical age. There is no single, simple pattern of aging — a fact that helps explain why one person at 65 can look years younger than someone the same age.
When an old person says “I don’t feel old, I feel young inside”, the person may be declaring that he or she does not identify with the false stereotype of what an old person is thought to be. Our aging bodies maybe a betrayal of the youthfulness we feel inside.
Various studies show that the older people get, the greater the gap between actual and subjective age. People over 65 often say they feel younger than their actual age — some by a wide margin. They realized when they got older, not much had actually changed.
We are still the same people as we age. As older adults, we generally enjoy good cognitive and mental health and are able to learn new skills and to adapt to new ideas. We haven’t magically become different people by virtue of having crept over a certain age threshold.
Old age is an antiquated idea that is compounded by the negative stereotypes that many older adults hold about themselves. Worse, it’s a roadblock that hinders many older adults from fully engaging with life, truly enjoying the gifts of God’s creation, working with young people for building of God’s kingdom, and wholly becoming all that God intends for them to be.
Aging is a natural, biological process that begins the day we are born. Older adults are not a burden to our churches. They are persons of faith, wisdom, and great achievement. They have enormous life experience and they are engaged in, and dream about, radical solutions to the current challenges of our present society.
What would life be like in our society if we could see the soul of each older person rather than their graying hair, skin color, wrinkles, and stooped shoulders?
As church leaders, how can we create ministry that honors and empowers older adults if we’re harboring our own issues and prejudices about aging? The following ideas can help each of us reframe aging in our congregations:
- Become acutely aware of ageism that surrounds us and exists in our minds and congregations and change how we think, feel, and act toward age and aging
- Develop faith communities in ways that foster older adults’ abilities
- Develop person-centered, intentional ministries that are responsive to older adults’ needs
If we can integrate these ideas into the life of our churches, we will be on the road to developing intentional ministry by, with, and for older adults. As a result, our communities will be enriched and greatly blessed.